Something raging

This is it. Right now. Something I feel once a while, sometimes it lasts for seconds and sometimes for weeks and months. This anger. Reason? Simple? One? Many? Someone? Everyone? I don't know. It's like a cycle. Blood pressure pumping anger or anger fueling blood pressure- both are simply high. And this isn't one of those feelings that I do know and do understand, when everything just feels as worthless as usual and strangely without a reason at all. This is something else. More or less? Good or bad? Controlled or leaking? I don't know. It's like a drink, acting somehow even when you're awake and well trying to feed the senses. Something that just simply kills all the wishes to share or speak out. Or if I do speak out, turns me off for discussing it. In a moment, everything feels just so delicate. Doors, walls, distemper chipping off in one of those sign giving corners, CDs, hinges, floor, plastic, metal, food, people, gadgets, screens, packing, fitting, bolts, plugs, vases, pipes, wires, buttons, current, perfumes, handles, surfaces, contacts, brochures, business cards, adhesives, polythene bags, tube lights, ICs, internet- everything I see or hear or smell or feel or touch or mere think about- intentionally or accidentally.

This is what it is. One of the moods. One of the seasons. One of the moments. One of the hours. Anytime. Evergreen. Never ending. Life consuming. Destructive. Self destructive. Critical. Unmanageable yet bearable. Observable yet immeasurable. Suppressible but not erasable.
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I don't want comments on this one but if you want to say anything at all about anything, email me, or just say here- I READ IT. :) :( :-\

Cheers! [I did one of the least things about recording it]
Thanks!

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Moods vs. Seasons vs. Moody seasons!

Worst is anger inside and burning sun outside. You pass all the people in a bus to get to the front door of it but the engine too, is too burning that you can feel it radiating heat through you. Your forehead already is tough and you feel the urge of rushing through things with a blow even more. A beautiful combination that I went through today was tasting just a bit of stress because of someone known (just a bit though, of course) wasn’t feeling perfectly balanced in head from a couple of days.

“Hey.. Don’t mind me asking but are you stressed about something from a couple of days? Please don’t relate my asking with anything you can guess this is about. And you don’t have to tell; if there is something, just say yes..”

“Hmm.. There is something.. :)”
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All of a sudden as you cross a long straight road sitting in a bus again, and you realize that its overcast outside already!

And what to say about the 5PM sun when you are traveling alone and so is a friend of yours, and all you do is send text messages to each other and say hi to the sun; through the sun.

Or when you need to talk or hear yourself, a self you’re sick of, a self that doesn’t speak at all ever and the night becomes even more silent; trying to help you in a way maybe.

A season is a season. Inside or out. With a warning or without. All you need to do is just try not to mess everything up because of too much of changes at once. Because the worst thing about reality, I guess, is that it just likes steadiness.

What’s your season right now? Sunny, overcast or rainy??! ;)

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