Want to Wake Up Normally
I'm 26 years old and I haven't felt this hopeless in my entire life. The pain of being a reject - and multiplied, I've found out, is nothing like it is in movies or books. I wake up sad and aimless. The most comforting moment for my body is when I am asleep. Negativity arrests me, as if, the moment I open my eyes.
Career? I'm not happy with mine.
Companionship? I miss the girl every moment, every single day.
Notwithstanding the fact that I'm okay with how it ended with her, because it wasn't going anywhere, really, it hurts me every time I'm reminded of how it began. I saw my future wife in her.
Just for the record, I lost her attention entirely and above all, I didn't realise until much later she had given up on me. Therefore, sadness + shock is what I'm dealing with ever since.
I just want this to end. I want to wake up at least happy about what the day's going to be. My personality repels life even more now. Besides, I don't find the least bit of interest to catch life first hand.
It's not good for others around me - that's for sure.
More importantly, it's just desperation and anxiety combined now.
Career? I'm not happy with mine.
Companionship? I miss the girl every moment, every single day.
Notwithstanding the fact that I'm okay with how it ended with her, because it wasn't going anywhere, really, it hurts me every time I'm reminded of how it began. I saw my future wife in her.
Just for the record, I lost her attention entirely and above all, I didn't realise until much later she had given up on me. Therefore, sadness + shock is what I'm dealing with ever since.
I just want this to end. I want to wake up at least happy about what the day's going to be. My personality repels life even more now. Besides, I don't find the least bit of interest to catch life first hand.
It's not good for others around me - that's for sure.
More importantly, it's just desperation and anxiety combined now.
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