Saturday, April 24, 2010
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Another step
One foot sinking in green water
Other thinking about another step
I think about myself
And everyone I have left
One eye blinks in my memory
Other rules me in the outer world
I need everything I don't have
When I'm to choose I cant make it work
Fearless everyone is but I
Think about our time ahead
Clocks always outrun the mind
But being timeless is another threat
Let's speak it out like we used to
When no hurt stopped us any day
Pain was only physical
Nothing else could hurt us anyway
-
Woke up in the middle of a dream
Voiceless, thoughtless, suffocated
Escaped everything the whole day
Choice less, pride less, jaded
I am back but back to gravity
That my weightless head pulls me to
Priceless moments are happening
But I lack the fear of losing you
I think I am not sick or infected
I am a pure disease myself
One heart beats when I see sweetness
Other pumps in thoughts I cant tell
One soul moves ahead seeking life
Other keeps looking for another world
Going back is impossible but then
Why going forward just doesn't work
-
I am not sure if I'll be screaming
Believing I'll be spotted out
Till one day wakes me from dreaming
Relieving me from my own doubts
Will everyone be here or away
I am not sure but I'll be around
Setting up theories and algorithms
I'll move forward till I am found
...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
What is this all?!
"Yeah?! Yeah maybe.. But who's paying for all the uncertainty..?"
"Uncertainty's there always.. It 'll be there.. Maybe one can just hang with the good part.." "Maybe!"
--
It is, no doubt, good to live out by your heart, to make mistakes, to give yourself a fair chance to understand things by going through them than to try and to always try to be the safest person who avoids the least of curvy paths from the straight path that offers everything right and everything just the way it should be. Are we okay with making mistakes or we're just scared?! Scared??!! Of what? Am I scared? And if I can't seem to answer that then what would be my answer to my own head if I ask myself- am I scared of nothing?! That is so not true!
I am scared! I am shit scared!
--

I am just old academically. But not so old in reality. In college, I am just 3 years "more experienced" than other students if and only if we talk about the "free life after school". Where was I? What was I doing? I hardly find someone interested in hearing that any more than I am interested in telling. Who am I? A ghost who's trying everything out, and has no problems with the precious time people like to spend only in something academic or monetary enough. And this IS the uncertainty I have with me. Because of what I don't feel free just to everything.
And who am I confusing anyways?! What if a fricken crush sticks to you while you are in the middle of all this?! You are doomed! I.. am doomed!
Who's life isn't a mess? Who is never in trouble? Who is completely happy anyways?!
And even if all were "completely happy" someday or the other, wouldn't we wish to die the same day??? On the happiest day of our lives?!
Where does all this lead?! Why are we always "runnin' in circles" and "chasing our tales"?! What would the good man do through all this? All this?? All this- a logically still fine but weirdly developing career and education.. Aren't we mere JARHEADs going through a war, hoping to return home one day but without a single shot fired?! I am a jarhead.. just in India, just pretending to fight my own imaginary war.. !
Answers will always be less than questions, that is the only reason answers are respected more! Because we dont usually have them!
To be continued..
[meanwhile, see Why or how are we here? Or anywhere? by mranjansingh] Read more...

